Santosha, contentment, is the second Niyama.  Being content means being happy with the present moment just as it is.  It’s knowing that happiness comes from within and that no one or nothing external can make us happy.  Santosha is about accepting without judgement and moving past the mindset that says I’ll be happy when... But how do we really experience unconditional, intrinsic happiness?  Luckily, it’s not necessary to have been born happy or even to have had the perfect childhood. Happiness is a skill we all can acquire with consistent practice.

Here’s how I cultivate Santosha:

Contentment starts with gratitude. I end every day with a gratitude journal. I list as many things I can think of, big or small, that I’m thankful for that happened throughout my day: waking up refreshed before the alarm, finding time to read, an awesome lift, a great session with a client, having fun with a friend, a delicious lunch, students sharing how yoga has helped them in their life, my beautiful home, living my dream every day, and all the wonderful people in my life.  As I make this list night after night, it’s rewiring my brain. This habit changes the way I think and feel from day to day. Gratitude is not only the cure for unhappiness, it’s also the best prevention.

I avoid insatiable materialism and the need to keep up with the Joneses (also an Aparigraha practice) by steering clear of home improvement shows and fashion magazines.  The marketing these media depend on preys on the I’ll be happy when mindset. Without this in my life, I don’t feel inadequate because I don’t have the perfect faucet or the latest pair of shoes.

Happiness is not having what you want. 

It is wanting what you have.

-Rabbi Hyman Schachtel

I’m working equanimity by letting go of judgements.  And not just complaints like this is the worst or I hate this, I’m also on the lookout for accolades like this is my favorite or this is the best. If I’ve classified something as my favorite or the best, I’m setting myself up for disappointment if I don’t get it.  Instead, staying neutral with whatever comes keeps me on an even keel. I experience much more happiness when I’m not at the mercy of life’s unpredictable highs and lows.

Every day I work on cultivating the mindset that happiness comes from within.  This is best summed up in the saying The one who holds the key to your happiness is your jailer.  I have taken back my key and freed myself.

Up next in part eight: Tapas, self-discipline.

Alicia Cross is a Certified Personal Trainer, Wellness Coach, and Yoga Instructor with more than 15 years’ experience working with clients in classes and one-on-one.  She is a yogi, meditator, vegan, and lifter of heavy things. If you’re ready to discover the strength and peace that comes from within, email Alicia@AliciaCrossTraining.com.